


In The Drift

by LastOneOut



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Family/Friendship Fluff, Gen, Gender Reveal, Pacific Rim AU, The Drift (Pacific Rim)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 10:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7432219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastOneOut/pseuds/LastOneOut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I didn’t know...I mean I knew that, you know, your minds connected but I...I didn’t realise...”</p><p>“Its pretty jarring.” He said, sitting next to her, “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.” </p><p>-</p><p>Pacific Rim AU: When Keith is injured in battle, Pidge steps up as the stand in co-pilot of Crimson Champion alongside Shiro. But he didnt count on the Drift revealing more than he cared to share.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Drift

**Author's Note:**

> I spent way too much time on this oh my god. I didn't really know how to convey Pidge's secret so I just had the pronouns swap over after the reveal, hope it isn't too confusing. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> (Context: Pidge is the head mechanic and technician of the bay where Crimson Champion(piloted by Shiro and Keith) and The Amber Lancer (piloted by Hunk and Lance) are stationed. They are overseen by General Allura and her Lieutenant, Coran. Due to their unconventional designs and how strong they are, the jaegers are often nicknamed the 'lions', and posses a unique ability to connect their systems during battle, which is basically like voltron.)

It was often said that the jaeger pilots were heros. The world saw them as powerful and untouchable, above the simple lives they protected, defenders of humanity. But the pilots were people, and people could make mistakes, put each other at risk, succumb to injury and death and disgrace. They were like icarus, forever a single moment away from flying too close to the sun.

As Pidge sat with his friends in the hall outside the infirmary, waiting desperately for news about Keith, he knew this all too well.

It had been a simple mission, hardly a category three and not even close to any cities, but things still went south. And while Keith wasn’t dead, the three broken ribs and traumatic head injury were more than enough to keep them all up and waiting. He couldn’t help but gaze at Shiro, still in his bloody armor, head cradled in his hands. Pidge had never seen him so worried.

After what felt like years footsteps echoed in the hall, and they stood, looking to see Allura and Coran walking toward them.

Shiro spoke first, his voice low “How is he?”

“Keith is stable.” Allura said, pausing while he group let out a collective sigh of relief, before speaking again “He is asleep, and will need to be for a while. The doctors don’t know how long his recovery will take, anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. But he is strong and stubborn. I expect that he’ll be back to full health in no time.”

“But what about Crimson? We can’t just be down a jeager, can we?” Hunk asked.

“Pidge.” Allura’s commanding voice causing him to jump to attention.

“Yes ma’am?”

“You are drift compatible with Shiro, and you know Crimson Champion better than any of our current cadets. You will stand in for Keith until he is fully recovered.”

“What?” He asked, shocked, “But I’m just...I can’t, I mean I have always wanted, but-no I’m just a technician I could never-” 

Allura raised a hand and Pidge’s mouth snapped shut, his eyes downcast. “Pidge, we have reviewed your simulator score, and your dedication to training after hours is admirable. I believe that your fighting style will mesh well with Shiro’s.” She gave him a supportive smile, “You’ll do fine. Is that alright with you, Shiro?”

He looked surprised but after a moment nodded, “I think Pidge and I can do it.”

“It’s settled then. Shiro, take a few days off, rest up, you can see Keith if you’d like. After that I expect you and Pidge to start training, in one week you two can attempt your first drift. Until then we have a team flying in to cover for you. Hunk, Lance, you can hold your own without Crimson for a while. Is that understood?”

“Yes ma’am!” They chorused, arms snapping to salute.

“Good. Now get some rest, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It was a hell of a week. Pidge was outfitted with neural connectors and armor, red and black, matching Shiro’s. He was run ragged through the simulator, given a crash course in advanced hand to hand combat and forced to fight side by side with Shiro until they could move as one unit seamlessly. He also insisted on overseeing the preparations and adjustments made to Crimson, a fact that meant that for days he hardly slept, until Shrio dragged him kicking and screaming out of the hangar and into his bunk, swearing that if he didn't get some sleep he would personally lock him in the room until he did.

The day before his first drift Lance and Hunk(joined by the cover team, Shay and Rax, old friends of Hunk’s) dragged him out for a ‘proper kick off’, which just meant hitting the town and watching Lance make a fool of himself, getting them kicked out of several local restaurants and bars. Pidge wouldn’t admit it but he had never had more fun, the feeling of being part of a team leaving a pleasant feeling in his heart.

The day of the drift, however, left him practically puking up his breakfast and second guessing every decision he had ever made.

He walked unsure towards Crimson, standing tall and proud in the hangar. Pidge placed his hand gently on her leg, glad that the metal of his suit hid his sweaty palms. She towered over him, a sight he wasn’t unfamiliar with, but today it held new weight. He stood before her not a simple mechanic, but a pilot. That fact in itself was more than enough to terrify him.

As he gazed at her, the feeling of vulnerability grew, until he felt that the jaeger was staring straight through him, viewing every part of him that he kept hidden in perfect clarity. In his studies of the Drift he knew that the minds of the pilots connected, and that they ended up knowing more about the other than they every would have before. He swallowed, surely Shiro wouldn’t find out...would he? No, no he wouldn’t. He pushed the worries away, instead trying to focus on staying strong. And not puking. Not puking was important. 

He heard Shiro walk up beside him. “Pidge?”

“What if she doesn't like me.” He asked, his voice as small as he felt.

Shiro shook his head, coming up and placing his hand on his shoulder. “Pidge, how long have you been Crimson’s mechanic?”

“About a year now...”

“Exactly. You know her better than anyone. Believe me, she already loves you.”

Pidge couldn’t help the proud smile that spread across his face. He patted the hull affectionately, reminding himself that he knew the jaeger inside and out. Shiro was right, it would be ok.

“Now come on,” He said, gesturing towards the prep elevator. “let's give you a proper introduction.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Pidge felt his legs lock into the supports in Crimson’s head, his mind running through the entire connection process in a last ditch effort to calm his nerves. _‘I know this, I know this...’_ he told himself. Coran’s voice called over the comms, confirming each step with Shiro, but he hardly heard them. It wasn't until he felt a strong hand taking his that he looked up, locking eyes with Shiro, his gaze caring and intense.

“You ok there?”

He nodded, “Yeah, I’m ok. Just nerves.”

His face grew serious, “You know you don’t have to do this, Pidge, it’s not too late to call it quits.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I want to.”

“Alright,” He said, before giving him a quick smirk, “Get ready then, the drop’s one hell of a thing.”

He braced himself and as Coran gave the command he felt the whole con-pod jolt, starting the fall to the rest of the Lion. He suddenly felt the nerves abate and a wild sort of thrill quickly fill his chest. He found himself grinning and letting out an excited shout. He heard Shiro laugh beside him and as the con-pod slowed to begin the connection, he turned to him, breathless and smiling.

“Ok, that was pretty fun.”

Shiro grinned, “Yeah, it is. You ready for the hard part?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Remember, just let it flow. It gonna be pretty crazy for a couple minutes so just sit back and let it happen. Don’t latch onto anything, you don’t want to get dragged out of alignment. Alright?”

“Got it.”

“You two ok in there?” Coran’s voice called over the coms.

Shiro gave Pidge a nod before responding “Copy, both pilots are engaged and ready for neural handshake, ready on your mark.”

“Engaging neural handshake in, three...two...one.”

_Suddenly she was six, standing next to her brother looking through their fathers telescope, her eyes wide with wonder as he tells her stories of the planets and stars “...and that’s Andromeda, the book says she was chained to a rock so a sea monster could eat her, but she was saved by Perseus.” She wonders what Andromeda did to deserve that._

_Then eight, her father helping her with her science project “Careful, Katie, that’s hot, let me do it.”_

_Eleven, watching her brother pack his bags, heading to the academy, while the radio played the news of another Kaiju attack. She wants to go to, to help save the world, but shes still too young. Her mother cries, she tries not to._

_Fourteen, her father leaves too. “Stay strong, Katie.”_

_Sixteen, watching her mother crumple at the doorstep, an official dressed in black explaining why her brother and father were never coming home. Lost, kaiju attack, nothing we could do, we are so sorry for your loss._

_Bullshit, she thinks._

_Seventeen, being thrown out of the garrison office, banned for life, lucky they don’t charge her with treason. Seventeen, cutting her hair and forging forms, tests and admissions letters and lying to her mom. Pidge, Pidge Gunderson, head jaeger mechanic and technician by eighteen, youngest ever. But not Katie. Never Katie._

_And then she’s someone else, eight years old, a funeral, rain, parents gone, a warm hand grasping his...his? “Don’t worry Takashi, it’s going to be ok.” He’s crying, trying to hide it. Big boys don’t cry._

_He’s stronger now, fifteen, life filled with exercise and school and his aunt and her bakery. He has Keith now too, troubled little kid with weird hair who won’t stop following him around. “One day I want to be like you, Shiro.”_

_And he’s seventeen and that little kid, now older standing with his aging aunt, bags and goodbyes and stay alive. Make us proud. Don’t forget to call._

_The garrison is hard but he makes it, Keith too, a few classes after him. Drift compatible and the war is worse and we have to save the world, don’t we? Failed missions and lost crew and so much pain, losing his arm, the worst he’s ever felt. A new arm, he wonders if it will ever really feel like his. “Don’t worry about it, Shiro, shit happens. Just look out or auntie’s gonna stick some magnets on it and use you as a note-board.”_

_Twenty one and Crimson and General Allura, Lieutenant Coran, Lance and Hunk and Pidge. Friends and thrill and a life worth so much more than one person. A simple box of cookies in the mail, monthly, no exceptions._

Pidge gasped, her eyes coming back into focus, the memories fading. She tried to get her bearings, but her limbs and mind were not only hers anymore. Her arms stiff at her side, her legs immobile, something telling her that it’s better to just stand still. She felt Shiro in her mind, and could tell that he knew, feeling his shock, as real as her own. She turned to him, her eyes wide, and some vague part of her mind tried to shove the memories away, but she knew that it was too late.

“Katie...” He breathes, and she panics. Her breathing hitched, her mind racing, trying to reason it away or hide or something, but nothing works. There are no secrets, not now, not with him.

“Alright, looks like the handshake is a little wobbly.” Coran’s voice called out, a welcome distraction, and Pidge looked away, desperately trying to calm herself. “How are things on your end?”

Shiro’s voice was shaky as he responded, “We’re ok for the most part. But it might be a good idea to call this one. I think we both need a bit.”

It was Allura who spoke next, her commanding voice helping to ground the two, “Yes, I think that’s best. Good work, both of you. This is a great first step. Coran, disengage them and get the ground crew ready. I want to run a full diagnostics on the jaeger.”

Some part of Pidge cried out, demanding that they not give up, but an even stronger part, a part that sounded a lot like Shrio, told her to keep quiet, so she did.

“Got it, alright, pilots, prepare for disengagement.” Pidge braced herself, fearing another horrible string of flashes, but it never came. Instead a calming sense of self washed over her, Shiro and the Crimson Champion falling away until there was nothing but her and her own thoughts.

She managed to hold it together until the con-pod was lifted fully and she was helped out of the supports. She quickly slipped off her helmet, handing it to one of the attendants while they removed her neural hookups. She stepped away as soon as they were done, walking quickly to the elevator.

“Pidge, wait!”

She stalled for a heartbeat. “Please, Shiro, just leave it.” She could tell he didn’t want too(and she doesn’t stop to wonder how, she just knew) but he obeys, and she ran to the lift, only her thoughts following her.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It’s much, much later when Shiro finds her.

She's sitting by herself, high up on some disused scaffolding at the back of the docking bay. She had changed back into her standard issue t-shirt and cargo pants, her feet bare, hair a mess, slumped into herself, hands idly fiddled with her glasses. She stared dejectedly at the jaegers in front of her, looking completely defeated, and his heart twinged at the sight. Keeping everything a secret like that? He didn't have to imagine how hard that was for her, the feeling still burning inside, all too real.

He took a hesitant step forward, clearing his throat before speaking. “Pidge...”

She didn't bother looking up, “I didn’t know...I mean I knew that, you know, your minds connected but I...I didn’t realise...”

“Its pretty jarring.” He said, sitting next to her, “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.”

She shook her head, giving him a vulnerable glance before turning back to the lions. Shiro let the silence linger, before speaking up, his voice quiet.

“So...Katie huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask why?”

She looked at him, confused, “You were in my head, you already know.”

“Yeah,” He smiled, “But I’d like to hear it from you.”

She sighed, pulling up one of her legs and resting her arm on it. She waited a moment, collecting her thoughts, before beginning slowly.

“My father and brother were scientists, studying the Kaiju. They figured if we got a better understanding of them we could have a chance of defeating them for good.”

“I think I've heard of them, Sam and Matt Holt? They we're pretty well known. Got killed in a Kaiju attack, right?”

She nodded, “That's the official story...but I don’t believe it. There were never any bodies recovered, and I thought they were stationed in Los Angeles, but the attack they ‘died’ in was in Sydney. So I looked at some of my father's research, and I found some vague stuff that didn't make any sense. Turns out it was encoded. I didn't figure it all out, but I from what I got they were doing something involving the breach. Top secret. That's why I think the government might have lied about what happened, you know?”

She looked up at him then, desperation clear in her eyes. He nodded, motioning for her to continue.

“Anyway, I got busted trying to hack into some top secret files, figure out what they weren’t telling us. I kept trying but after the third time I got a life ban. Technically, I’m hardly allowed to even look at a jaeger. But I wouldn’t give up, so I lied. I cut my hair, changed my name and my gender. I got accepted into the technician program at the jaeger academy so that I could continue my search. I’ve been Pidge Gunderson ever since.”

“Wow...Pidge, that's-”

“Stupid? Irrational? Believe me, I know.”

“Brave.”

“What?”

Shiro put a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Katie, that's incredibly brave. Hiding who you are, risking everything just to find out what happened to your family? I doubt half the pilots here would have the guts to do something like that.”

She blushed, a small smile gracing her face. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“You won't tell them, will you?” She said, suddenly wary.

“Don't worry, your secret’s safe with me, Pidge,” he said a hint of amusement in his voice as he used her alias, and she believed him, that new feeing telling her that he was safe.

She sighed with relief and Shiro shook his head, pulling her into a hug. She relaxed into his side, snaking her arms around him and burning her face in his shoulder. He held her close, and when her shoulders tensed up and her breathing hitched and her small hands made tights fists in his shirt he only squeezed tighter, wordlessly letting her know that she wasn’t alone anymore. She would never have to be alone again.

“Is it always this intense?” She whispered after a moment, her voice fragile. Shiro thought back to his first few drifts, the nerves, the pressure, the raw emotion of having your whole life dragged out in front of you mixed and meshed with another person’s, it was beyond overwhelming. A lot of pilots never made it past their first drifts, the strain on their minds too strong.

“It is at first,” He admitted, “but you’ll learn to handle it. To let the memories flow past without consuming you.”

She nodded into his side, before clutching him tighter, “I miss them so much, Shiro.”

“I know, Katie, I felt it.”

She gave in then, letting the tears burning in her eyes fall. Shiro rubbed comforting circles into her back, trying to ignore the dampness in his own. Another effect of the drift. Even after you left your jaeger the bond was still there, forged strong and hard to ignore. Your feelings would always be linked. And though Pidge's family wasn't his own, he felt their loss as fierce as if they were.

After Pidge’s sobs faded into quiet breathing and light hiccups, Shiro pulled back and turned her head to face towards his.

“So, you think you’ll be up to try again?”

Pidge gave a hesitant nod. “I’ve come too far to give up now.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He said with a grin, “You have a lot of raw talent, Katie, I’d love to see it grow. Heck, after this is over you could even get your own jeager. Be a real pilot.”

“Oh, you know me,” She said looking back to the jaegers with a fond smile, “I could never leave the lions.”

“Yeah," He agreed, "I know.” 


End file.
